Going through a divorce can wreak emotional havoc on the husband, the wife and the kids, which, in turn, can lead to physical aliments for all involved. The couple going through the divorce can experience health related issues from depression and additional stress. Each phase of a divorce will bring new emotions and changes in a family’s emotional health dynamic.
Emotional Impacts of Divorce on Couples
During a divorce it is completely normal to feel intense anger, personal guilt, depression, anxiety and added stress. The important thing to remember is that each of these feelings are normal. Here are three steps to keep in mind throughout your divorce cycle:
Allow Yourself to Grieve
The reality of divorce is that you are losing a significant other in your life. Even if you had extreme anger toward them at the end of your relationship, you will have feelings of missing them as time passes. You have to allow yourself time to grieve for the person and the relationship in order to move forward.
Seek Support
You aren’t meant to go through divorce alone. It is important to have discussions and to spend time with your friends and family. You also need to have fun with them! Beyond your friends and family there are many great resources in our area like special meet up groups. Here are twelve support groups in Charlotte.
Redefine Yourself
Going through a divorce also gives you a huge opportunity to redefine yourself! This is your life and you should live it the way you want. Seize every opportunity and define where you want your life to go next.
Emotional Impacts of Divorce on Children
“All too often we see painful separations and raw emotions during divorce. Unfortunately, often times kids end up in the middle of all the pain,” says Thomas Bumgardner, family lawyer with The Law Office of Thomas D. Bumgardner, PLLC. “Every kid will feel the effects of their parents getting divorced in one way or another and it is not all bad. If kids are comforted and well supported throughout the process, it can lead to a higher level of ability to cope with stress and life changes in their future.”
Honesty and Visibility
You don’t need to inform your kids on every step of the divorce or separation process. The more information you share with them on what is happening can lead to less surprises and an easier transition. Just ensure you give them the opportunity to ask questions and you don’t sugarcoat the situation.
Keep the Daily Routine
One of the toughest and most jarring things for kids is when their daily routines get fully switched during an emotionally heavy time like a divorce. Minimize the changes in their routine and slowly work into a new one.
Keep the Positivity!
Your kids feed off of your energy. If you are feeling anger or depression, vent all of that outside of the home to your support group. Even during visitations or goodbyes when they go to the other spouse’s house, it is important they leave seeing a smile on your face.
During this emotional time, just remember everyone deals with the pain and conflict differently. Whereas a support group might work for some, a book can help with others. There is no “perfect plan” to dealing with a separation, but here at the Law Office of Thomas D. Bumgardner, we help minimize the added stress you have by walking you through the legal process of separation and divorce, spousal support, property division, child custody and child support.
Please call us for a free consultation at (704) 870-4779. We’re experienced and we’re here to listen to your situation and to offer our professional guidance.